


The Crayon Is The Mightiest Weapon

by Anonymous



Series: Rogue Robins [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Teen Titans Go!, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Damian Wayne is a murderous toddler, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Dick Grayson is Robin, Dimension Travel, Jason Todd is Red X, Minor Violence, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Tim Drake is Robin, Wally West is Kid Flash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2020-09-06 17:30:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20295298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Nothing says fun like dimensional travel. Especially when a rogue robin causes trouble in a world they shouldn't be in.





	1. At the Cave

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter two will be posted within the next two days or so.

A shriek of terror - more like a frightened girly squeal - echoed throughout the Cave. Streaks of yellow and red trailed behind Kid Flash as he sped into the kitchen carrying a toddler. A secretly _menacing_ toddler. Pitch black assassin-like clothing clung to the child’s frame; his once neat hair was now windswept. The shocked raven-haired boy stared at Robin with wide, blue eyes. Robin stared back in equal surprise. “Take this and keep it far, _far_ away from me!” Kid Flash demanded, thrusting the child into his friend’s arms. Said child immediately held onto the older black-haired male, his lower lip slightly quivering (for dramatic effect) as he attempted to ‘hide’ in the other’s arms.

“Oh, come on, Kid. He’s just a child.” Robin scolded, adjusting the boy in his grasp.

“Well, that ‘_child_’ just tried to slit my throat with a sharpened crayon. _A CRAYON!_” Kid Flash hissed, glaring in the direction of his new enemy. A few (fake) tears slid down the toddler’s cheeks. Batman’s _partner_ \- not in any way, shape or form a sidekick - ignored his friend’s sudden hate for children, and calmly walked over to the fridge with the child in tow. Kid Flash continued to look daggers in his foe’s general direction.

Robin opened the fridge door with one hand and gave their unnamed visitor a juice box. Their mysterious visitor was promptly seated at the table. Meanwhile, a certain bird-themed hero smiled to himself as he watched the toddler struggling to hold his drink. “Stop exaggerating. Look at him-” Robin retorted, gesturing toward the child. At that exact moment, the box fell from the boy’s tiny hands and hit the floor with a thud. “-he can hardly hold his juice box without dropping it.”

Kid Flash grumbled, “He probably dropped it on purpose.”

When Robin left to grab a new juice box for the boy - who knows what strange diseases lurk on the Cave's kitchen floor - the child (Damian) dropped his facade. “Mark my words, Wallace West.” At the sound of his secret identity, Kid Flash slowly backed away from the Cave’s intruder, mouth agape. “You shall die an excruciatingly painful death where not even God can hear you scream.” Damian drawled, his words laced with malice. The venomous threat was chilling; low enough to prevent Robin from hearing it.

“See what I mean, this kid is a demon incarnate! When are we getting rid of him?!” Kid Flash bellowed. A note of panic crept into his voice as he gestured at the ‘villain’ with an exasperated expression on his face. Robin stopped rummaging through the fridge. Every emotion of abhorrence Damian felt for the speedster became masked- a faux look of pure childish innocence sat on his face. The alternate version of Dick Grayson glanced at him and sighed.

“I thought you didn’t believe in any form of _magical_ creature?” Robin replied, rolling his eyes at his friend’s troublesome antics.

“I don’t need science to be able to tell that this kid crawled out of the Pits of _Hell_. The sooner we send him home the better.”

_Beep!_ _Beep!_ _Beep!_ Robin barely got his mouth open to reply before the noise interrupted him. Both heroes looked around. Nothing immediately stood out- But further inspection proved that the sound was imitating from a utility belt. _Robin’s_ utility belt. “Hello?” The bird-themed vigilante said, uncertainly, as he answered his communicator.

While Gotham’s hero spoke with whoever contacted him, Kid Flash and Damian started the world’s most intense staring contest. The speedster would glower. His opponent would counter with an expression akin to the Batglare. A Batglare that promised pain and death instead of righteous fury. Once an eternity (five minutes) passed, the petty competition was interrupted by Robin, “Sorry, Kid Flash. It looks like Batman needs me at the Batcave. You’ll have to watch our little guest by yourself for a while.” Robin hesitantly walked to the kitchen doorway as Kid Flash struggled to process the words his friend spoke.

“Wha-What?! You can’t leave me here with that- that thing!” Kid Flash sputtered. He nearly took his eyes off the ‘toddler’ to send his friend a pleading look. But he didn’t. With good reason, the redhead refused to turn his back to the stranger that somehow knew his real name… and attempted to murder him. With a _crayon_.

“I _will_ leave you here with him, _and_ I expect to find the kid feeling _asterous_ when I return.” Footsteps continued to fade into the distance- Kid Flash’s only salvation walked further and further away; Damian’s replacement juice box joined Robin on that journey. Alas, the fruity beverage just wasn’t fated to be his.


	2. Meanwhile, at a house in Blüdhaven

In a not-so-quiet suburban home, a raven-haired teen tore apart the house searching for a certain similar-looking toddler: Damian. Nothing was spared from the maelstrom that was Robin- one of this universe’s many fugitive Robins. Sofa cushions were strewn about, furniture sat in odd places at weird angles, random everyday objects were left in the strangest spots. A few oddities amongst the mess remained more notable than others. Somehow, the couch miraculously migrated to the kitchen and flipped itself over. It also inconveniently blocked the fridge. The living room now had a blender hanging off the ceiling fan. And, of course, there was a pillow clogging the toilet…

“WHERE IS HE?!” The panic-stricken male- Dick Grayson shouted at the top of his lungs, currently ‘rearranging’ the basement. Papers fluttered to the floor as he wildly threw them aside. _Thud!_ _Crash!_ _Thump! _Books and expensive-looking lab equipment hit the ground, more fragile items broke into pieces upon impact. None of his ‘searching’ did anything to help him find Damian.

“I DON’T KNOW! WHY ARE WE YELLING?” Jason, AKA Red X, screamed for no reason. Well, no reason other than the fact he wanted to yell.

The slightly taller, black-haired teen had been searching the house for clues while attempting to investigate rooms before the mini-tornado known as Dick got to them. His search was unsuccessful. The Robin - known to some as Richard, a major ‘_Richard_’ - living up to his true namesake made it impossible for Jason to get any evidence to support his theory. Or find any clues about what happened to their toddling killer.

From the other side of the disorderly basement, a voice spoke, “Hey, come look at this.” Both blue-eyed teens started. Each jerked their head in the direction of the sound, revealing the quite obvious culprit. _Tim_. That was the only person it could be. The sole Robin that had a special way of creeping around undetected (like a stalker), and scaring the hell out of anyone nearby with his emotionless tone. Plus, completing detective work was his greatest skill. (Because he is totally not a detail-oriented stalker or has the qualities of a fine serial killer…)

It made sense Tim found a lead first. The little creeper silently pointed at his find. A futuristic dimensional travel device - the very one they used to escape their own world - It sat against the wall, lights blinking and inner mechanics whirring. The machine had been used recently… The implication alone caused Dick and Jason to pale. When the two brothers took a better look their fear was proven to be true. Displayed on a small screen was their missing brother, who appeared to be in the midst of battle. Dick glared hatefully at his sibling’s opponent: A yellow and red clad _speedster_.

The duel was fast-paced and brutal. Punches and kicks flew with unparalleled speed. Every blow exchanged was violent and dangerous; Aimed to deal serious damage. Damian and Kid Flash fought to the death- the ‘to the death’ part being more of Damian’s doing. Each brandished whatever improvised weapons they had available. One wielded their inhuman speed while the other menacingly brandished a blue crayon. A particularly harsh attack on their little brother enraged Dick beyond the point of no return. His rage became an unquenchable blaze prepared to devour the object of his hatred.

The angry Robin growled, “I will tear his fucking legs off, and then we’ll see who’s really the fastest.” A crazed, maniacal cackle that could put the Joker’s laugh to shame- that could make _Batman_ quiver in fear rang through the air. Jason and Tim, while slightly disturbed, remained mostly unaffected by the laugh emanating from their brother. But their neighbors. Oh, the unfortunate souls living next door probably wet their pants.

“Dick, is that really necessary?” Tim inquired with his usual impassive tone.

The angered Robin sent the moving image of Kid Flash a death glare so intense it could kill someone. “That jackass threw Damian into a _wall_. He deserves so much worse.”

In one swift movement, Dick activated the machine - a swirling green portal sprung into existence - and he grabbed a hold of Jason’s wrist. Dick declared, “Let’s go, Red. Our baby brother is waiting for us!” His declaration was loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear... And make anyone in the surrounding area contemplate calling Child Protective Services.

“Wha-” Jason was unable to finish his sentence due to Dick yanking him through the portal.

Both vanished before Tim could finish saying “Be safe…” The lone teen looked from the portal to the dreadful mess Dick created. While the male generally never displayed emotion, the irritation on his face was quite noticeable. A frown graced his lips.

“Why am _I_ the one left to clean up this disaster?”


	3. Back at the Cave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might take a bit longer before the final chapter is posted. My holy device of writing decided to not save the last chapter... so now I get the glorious honor of rewriting it.

A battlefield. That was exactly what the Cave’s kitchen had become after that universe’s Robin left. The combatants exchanged one attack after another, falling into a deadly dance of fists. The battle raged on for nearly an hour. Exhaustion riddled the adversaries’ stances; Both began to get sloppier and sloppier when throwing punches and kicks. Kid Flash was running low on fuel - a speedster may be fast, but their accelerated metabolism could be a major hindrance, especially during a long fight with no time for a quick snack - And Damian’s tiny body refused to keep up with the harsh paced combat. The toddler would soon hit his limit.

However, their duel continued on. At least until a mysterious, swirling green vortex manifested right beside them. The two tired warriors leapt away from the twisting and turning rip between worlds. With the appearance of the portal came a voice, “DAMI!” Then came a person- the fugitive Dick Grayson, and stumbling out of the inter-dimensional gateway behind him was none other than Jason. Upon the arrival of the pair, Kid Flash froze in shock at the sight of what looked like his best friend and a strange teen. 

“I thought I told you to _not_ play with the dimensional portal. I was so worried when you disappeared.” Dick chided, running up to startled yet grateful Damian and trapping him in a bear hug. A very tight, suffocating bear hug. The exhausted child’s face rapidly shifted in shade as a purple tone crept into his features. Dick paid no mind to the weakly struggling child in his bone-crushing grip. Jason, on the other hand, noticed the problem and took action.

“Sheesh, Goldie! Give the kid some space. You’re suffocating him!” Jason shouted before prying Damian out of Dick’s ironclad grasp. The toddler gasped for air once he was freed, the purple color slowly fading from his face as he greedily breathed in oxygen.

“Sorry, Dami! Are you okay? Do you need an oxygen mask and air tank? Do you want me to kill Kid Flash so he stops breathing your precious air?!” Dick fretted, hovering protectively by Damian’s side.

Meanwhile, Kid Flash’s brain finally began to function enough to choke out a sentence, “Who the hell are you?!” His friend’s duplicate (Clone?) glared at him before their demeanor changed entirely.

“Hey, Kid Flash! How’s your knee?” ‘_Imposter_’ Dick Grayson, chirped. A deceptively warm smile graced the potential clone’s lips. Everything about his posture said ‘I am a good person’, but his eyes… Those cold, sinister blue eyes screamed '_dangerous_.' The kind of dangerous you can only see in a killer’s eyes.

“What? My knee is fine.” Kid Flash was taken aback by the sudden friendliness after the blatant display of hostility and death threat. Wally was positive he would be dead if the ninja/demon kid answered yes to fake Dick’s last question. And the odd question regarding his knee didn’t help his suspicion either.

With an inhuman level of speed, Dick summoned a collapsible staff - possibly from another plane of existence or dimension considering his current outfit had no pockets - Then he swung it. Faster than the blink of an eye; Harder than any normal Bat would dare. “Not anymore!” The volatile Robin exclaimed.

_Crunch_! Kid Flash’s left kneecap received the brunt of the attack, snapping almost clean in half from the sheer force. The fiery-haired hero tumbled to the ground with a pained cry. Damian let out a cheer while Jason - who was the second most sensible Robin in their ragtag flock - attempted to herd his brothers toward the portal.

Just as Jason shoved his feral brother and slightly more tame sibling into the rift, Kid Flash screeched, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?!”

“Everything.” Jason deadpanned, walking through the dimensional gateway before it vanished.

No sound aside from Wally’s whimpers filled the Cave. Not a single human, alien, or robot wandered the halls. Every scientific explanation he had for the incident made _zero_ sense. So the redhead wept, arranging his quickly healing leg in a manner that would ensure the wound healed properly. Legends say Kid Flash developed a phobia of staffs. The hero would go as far as running great distances across the globe to escape someone wielding one. Some speculate he vanishes from reality when said weapon happens to be in his best friend’s hands. No person or magic can track him- He runs so fast it is impossible to pinpoint his location.


	4. The Fallout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Certainly not perfect, but I have left this story incomplete for long enough.

Three raven-haired boys (varying in age) ungracefully stumbled out of a futuristic portal device and into a disastrous basement. Dimension traveling - or any unorthodox method of transportation involving the temporal/dimensional displacement of a living creature - was known to be highly disorienting. Thus causing the afflicted to… Well, not land smoothly upon their return. The boys’ staggering soon transformed into a full-blown drop toward the ground.

Dick quickly caught his footing, turning his descent into an elegant cartwheel - midair spins for flare included - before completing a perfect landing. Even when away from the circus, the male tended to add dazzling movements into his actions. Regardless of whether or not he was in combat. In other words, Dick was a show-off. Something that irritated his siblings to no end. It’s a good thing they loved him anyway.

His brothers, on the other hand, made a less than perfect entrance back into their world- or, more accurately, the dimension they fled to. It almost ended in utter disaster.

Damian’s tiny legs refused to work properly, much to his dismay, leaving him careening in the direction of the hard stone floor. The toddler was terrified. Though, he refused to express the emotion. To anyone witnessing the event, it would be quite obvious the boy couldn’t catch himself even if he tried. And Dick certainly did not notice his favorite little brother almost kiss the dirty basement floor. But Jason did. He jerked forward to stabilize the fawn-footed baby assassin right as the acrobat’s feet hit the floor. The price of his actions was the fate his brother would have met. Jason fell face-first on the floor. Damian awkwardly shuffled next to him, checking for injuries as he did so.

Meanwhile, the eldest raven-haired boy remained oblivious to the accident behind him, wasting no time before shouting, “Tim, we’re home!” His grin nearly enough to brighten the inky darkness the room’s faulty lightbulb provided. As Dick stepped farther away from the portal, he glanced around the room expectantly, waiting for his brother to reveal himself. However, the house was quiet. Dead silently. More so than usual. No creepy whispers of stealthy footfall. No monotone voice stating ‘I’ll be right there’… No ominous breathing in his left ear because Tim’s angry with him. Nothing to signify his brother was home.

“Tim?”

By the time Dick called out for his brother a second time, Jason was picking himself off the floor. Blood trickled down his nose and dripped onto the floor. He discreetly wiped it away. Dick could be very _overbearing_ when he noticed blood on any of his siblings. And _that-_ That was certainly the last thing Jason wanted right now.

A quick glance around the room told him all he needed to know. From the mess to the broken glass to the sheer fact _nothing_ got cleaned up while they were gone meant Tim was not happy. Their resident stalker was most likely _angry_. Jason grimaced at the thought. Hopefully, Tim would spare him from the impending lecture destine to befall the household once he returned.

“Jason.” A tiny hand tugged on the hem of his shirt. In a natural display of _Bat-_etiquette, Jason grunted to acknowledge Damian instead of using words. The boy fiddled with something in his pocket. Something that rustled and crinkled like paper. Damian pulled his hand out of his pocket, producing a lightly balled up note.

“Thanks, kid.” Before the toddler could back away, Jason reached out and ruffled his black locks. Damian retaliated by swatting at his hand, but other than that the little boy pouted at Jason’s brotherly display of dominance.

“TIM!” Dick howled as he began to worsen the basement’s mess. Jason quite blatantly turned a blind eye to his out of control brother. Damian could probably distract the male with crayons, or glittery paints, or something. Really anything sparkly or colorful would work.

A loud crash sounded from behind him. Jason facepalmed and sighed, dragging his hand down the entire length of his face. He grieved over the fact their eldest brother was incapable of acting like _a normal human being_. And the fact he probably never would... Had anyone checked to make sure Dick took his medicine? God, probably not. That was usually Tim’s job.

“For fuck’s sake…” Jason muttered, unfurling the note. Further inspection proved that, yes, Tim was indeed angry- And now Jason had something to keep Dick from freaking out… more than he normally does, or currently _was_. He quickly piped up before Dick could cause any more damage, “Tim left a note. Says he isn’t yer damn maid and won’t clean up this mess.”

Naturally, the raven abandoned the pile of trash he was rooting through and rushed over to Jason. “Let me see that!” Dick ripped the tiny piece of paper from his hands.

-

_Dear Dick,_

_I regret to inform you I have no obligation to tidy your atrocious mess. The broom and dustpan are in the hall closet. Please, have it cleaned up by the time I return._

_Sincerely,_

_Tim_

_-  
_

Dick read the note intently. His eyes gazed over the words multiple times before he drew a conclusion. “Tim really left…” He started, getting progress louder and more worried as he continued. “And he didn’t mention _where_ he was going! What if he gets hurt?! How does he expect us to find him?!” The term ‘pacing’ could not even begin to describe the Robin’s next action.

“Sheesh, Dick, calm down. I’m sure Timmy can handle himself.” Jason said, a ‘_You should be more worried about yourself._’ heavily implied by his tone. “In the meantime, you can start cleaning up the mess _you_ made.”

Dick abruptly paused his frantic stride, arms jerking out in front of himself, hands waving in some form of wild gesture. “Hold on just one minute, Red! I am exercising my right as your old brother and ordering you to help me organize… _this_.” Any authoritativeness he held was lost as he dramaticly motioned to the entire room. Thankfully, ceasing his odd gesture as he did so.

Jason merely sent his brother a deadpan expression. His eyebrow slowly raised in a disproving manner and a light frown tugged at his lips. “Yeah, _no_. You can find free child labor elsewhere.” Jason stated, a sense of finality deeply engraved into the words. A sense of finality Dick chose to ignore.

“But, Red, I need help taking care of this!” The supposedly eldest member of the household whined, pouting like a rejected puppy.

“Why don’t you ask ‘_Jason_’ then?!” Jason snapped. All patience for his older brother flew right out the door and into the grimy, disgusting Blüdhaven streets. Not only had the male wreaked havoc on the entire house, but now Dick was trying to rope him into cleaning it up for him. And, of course, he still refused to acknowledge Jason’s actual name. Jason, _not_ Red.

Damian sighed. He loathed when Richard and Jason got into this specific argument. While it was a rare occurrence, the fight always shook the family to its core.

Dick let out a scandalized gasp, hands jerking upwards to cover his mouth in a horrified fashion. His eyes widened almost comically wide before they narrowed. A stern glare now directed itself at ‘Jason’. The whole sequence reminded his two brothers of an overdramatic movie character. “How could you dare insinuate such a thing! You know Jason is still injured from his fight with the Joker.” Dick’s chastising proved ineffective. The subject on the receiving end of the eldest Robin’s scolding merely chose to roll his eyes.

“You’re right, Dick.” The words were drawn out and heavily laced with sarcasm. “I should know better than to expect a fuckin’ pile of ashes in a damn urn to be able to do anything remotely fuckin’ USEFUL!” Green crept along the edges of Jason’s irises. Creeping and creeping, slowly devouring the natural icy blue and replacing it with an unnatural, deadly color. _Lazarus Pit green_.

“DON’T SPEAK THAT WAY ABOUT J-JASON! H-HE’S JUST RESTING, A-AND S-SOON HE’LL BE IN PERFECT HEALTH!” Dick growled. However, the ferocity in his tone was diminished by the frequent stuttering.

“YEAH, KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT, DICKFACE!” Jason - or in Dick’s mind, Red - stormed up the stairs, stomping with each and every step, departure marked by the unmistakable sound of the front door slamming shut.

Rage boiled in Dick’s veins, almost as strongly as Pit Rage. However, one glance at Damian caused it to dwindle. The boy stared at him with a look akin to disappointment. “Dami-” He tried. Unfortunately, his brother did not listen or stay to hear what he had to say. Damian softly walked away and up the stairs; Out the front door and into the world. Dick could only watch helplessly as his baby brother abandoned him in favor of following Red.

“…I thought I was your favorite brother.” The words were no more than a gentle murmur. Sadness laced every syllable and consonant. For what felt like an eternity (but was really just a few minutes), Dick listlessly stood there- unmoving, even though he should be cleaning. The blue-eyed teen pondered many questions during that time, but only one was important: Why does Red always get so weird about Jason? The corners of his lips turned down. There had to be a reason Red hates Jason so much.

_…Right?_


End file.
